


Why Do They Do It?

by Katrina_Viv



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexuality, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Insomnia, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 14:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21357856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Viv/pseuds/Katrina_Viv
Summary: Aziraphale has trouble sleeping, because he's confused about a certain aspect of humanity.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Why Do They Do It?

Crowley was happily snuggled up close to Aziraphale, with one arm laid across the angel's body so they could easily hold hands as they fell asleep. Crowley was perfectly content and relaxed, waiting to fall asleep in his angel's warm, calming presence. But Aziraphale wasn't feeling quite the same.

“Crowley, I can’t sleep.”

"Hm?"

“This is strange. I can usually fall asleep in a few minutes, but it’s like my mind is too busy for that tonight.”

“Is something bothering you, angel? That’s what usually keeps people from falling asleep.”

“I...suppose there is. It probably sounds quite silly, though.”

“It’s okay, angel. You can tell me anything.”

“Okay. The problem is...some things humans do are incomprehensible to the point of bothering me.”

Crowley gently stroked his angel’s arm. “Is it sex stuff?”

“...Yes. How did you know?”

“Just an educated guess; I know your feelings and opinions very well by now, angel."

“I just don’t understand why humans are so obsessed with it. I understand that it’s necessary for having children. But why else do people do it? It just seems so bizarre and unnecessary. And I approve of it in marriage, even if I don’t understand it, but why do people have sex with people they barely know? Why is prostitution a thing? Why is sexting a thing? Why is sex in so many books nowadays? I prefer reading older books, because there isn’t so much of that in them.”

“I don’t know either, angel.”

"Does it bother you too?”

“Not so much. I guess I’m just kind of desensitized to it after being on Earth for so long. Luckily I haven’t had to do much in that regard temptation-wise. The humans can’t help but get themselves into all sorts of weird situations I could never dream up.”

“I can see how it’s something you’d want to do with someone you love and trust...though plenty of humans don’t even follow that guideline...but I also don’t understand the appeal of doing that to someone you loved. It’s awkward and messy and inelegant. Why not just kiss and snuggle, like we do?”

“I don’t know, angel.” 

Aziraphale was silent for a little while. “Well,” he said finally, “I’m glad that it’s not something we _can_ do. One less way it can bother me.”

“I’m glad God made us that way.”

“Me too.”

“I can’t even imagine...it seems laughable at best, and painful at worst.”

“I don’t even want to imagine it!”

“You don’t have to, angel. And you shouldn’t try! It will just keep you awake longer.”

“Why do I even think about it at all, Crowley?”

“I don’t know. I hope you can think about it less and less so it doesn’t bother you anymore. And for tonight, can you do something for me?”

“Of course, Crowley. Within reason, of course.”

“I want you to just focus on me tonight. I’ll hold you close and make sure you feel safe in my arms. Don’t let any other thoughts into your head.”

Aziraphale smiled. “I’ll do my best.”


End file.
